As an adult, it doesn't ever feel like christmas does it? I remember this growing 'feeling of it not being christmas' every year as i grew up. One year, just me, my brother and my mum spent Christmas together (i don't know where the others were). I think we were approaching or just in our teens and my mum was cooking and she sent us out the house so she could just get on with it. We went to West Ham Park to hang out on the basketball court and after a few pretend throws of a ball at the hoops we sat on the asphalt court and traced the cracks in the ground. My brother looks at me and says "it doesn't feel like christmas anymore, does it?" and i tell him, "i know, it could be any time of year". We got a bit forlorn and then remembered we were meant to go buy some butter and we'd been gone far too long. And then i think about my brother now - he had a baby this year - a really cute one called Charlie - and he will be with her and his girlfriend - and i bet it feels like christmas with that baby. Babies tend to bring it back... i love my brother - he's such a contemplative, sensitive soul. Happy Christmas - i'm really gonna miss you this year.
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